Leadership – Page 4

Let’s face it! Transitions are difficult to navigate through. No matter how many books you read on the subject and no matter how many words of wisdom are spit your way that are meant to help (albeit good words of encouragement), personally going through those rough waters yourself is a whole different story. Each transition is different and every person deals with them in a variety of ways. There’s not one “right” way to transition. In fact, I don’t necessarily believe there’s a “healthy” way to transition. I simply believe navigating well helps to make transitions bearable. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve heard and have received a bunch of amazing nuggets of wisdom these past few months as it relates to the issue at hand that has actually helped,but dealing with my own transition has been difficult.

Tomorrow, I officially depart the church I have served at for the past 10 years and it sucks!

And I get it.

Seasons end. Jobs have an expiration date. And ministries pave way for up and coming leaders, moving existing ones on to the next assignment.

Nonetheless, necessary endings, well, finally come to pass and they’re painful.

The folks at New Life and I, like most ministerial relationships, was definitely more than mere pastoral/member association. We shared life together and that, in and of itself, went way beyond my job title. I’ve been a part of many of their families and I’ve seen many of their children grow into mature adults. I’ve witnessed, for that matter, many of their children say, “Hello,” to the world for the first time and I’ve dedicated a good number of their kids to the Lord. I’ve joined many in marriage and I’ve said, “Goodbye,” to some of their beloved ones.

Simply put, I’ve become a family member to many of the New Lifers and leaving family is difficult on many levels.

So, on the eve of my last day at New Life, as many before me have given, I present my “3 Steps to a Bearable Transition.”

1. It’s OK to Veg
It helps a great deal knowing that some legs of the transition journey doesn’t have to be an educational moment. There’ll be plenty of time to learn from your transition experience. No one is really an expert at transitions and we don’t have to pretend to be one. There’s nothing wrong with playing video games all night nor is it an abomination to randomly load up the family into the car to take a spontaneous trip to Legoland and spend money you don’t necessarily have. It’s OK to have friends over for a night of S’Mores without having to talk through the emotional pain that comes with moving from one season to the next. And it’s OK to sleep in longer than normal. It may not last forever, and it shouldn’t, but vegging is good for the transitioning soul.

2. Be Honest
When someone asks the inevitable, “How are you doing?”, it’s perfectly fine to be honest. Tell the truth of how you’re feeling that very moment when said question is asked. If you’re feeling sad, don’t try to mask your sorrow. If you’re actually happy in that moment, jump for joy. And if you’re mad, tell the person how angry you are. Most people aren’t checking up on you just to be cordial. They actually want to know and are there to help. Allow them to. Covering up your emotions only fuels the pain. Talking about where you’re at emotionally has a funny way of providing a platform for healing.

3. Dive Into the Scriptures
Believe it or not, God’s Word is amazing at helping to navigate through transitions. There are many folks in the Bible who went through crazy transitions…Moses and Israel’s flee from Egyptian bondage…David assuming the throne…the Gentiles being welcomed into God’s family…God becoming Man…and these examples remind us that we’re not alone. These transitions also reveal God in the midst of the pain and the sorrow, many times feeling the heartache as we experience them. The people, at the end of all these transitions, we’re filled with joy again. God showed His compassionate care and love for His people through these difficult times. If anything, He reminded folks that He never left them. Reading about these godly folks is very encouraging.

So, there you have it.

I hope this helps to numb the pain when you go through your transitions and helps to make your future moves bearable.

How about you?

Let’s talk.

I grew up a non-practicing Catholic. In 1994, I was drawn to the fancy lights and “rock n roll” glitz of the Protestant expression of Christianity. I’d never seen a live band in my experience of church before and, since I was heavily involved with the music scene, I was immediately hooked. It was a fun transition that, at the time, was just that…fun. Christianity became a fun environment that kept a teenaged kid out of trouble amid the Carson (California) landscape that was saturated by gang violence.

It wasn’t, however, until the turn of the 21st Century that I took my faith in Jesus seriously and dove into pastoral ministry.

Pastoral ministry, incidentally, has been fun. And, as my transition from Catholicism to being Protestant, I was immediately hooked to the idea of shepherding folks toward a more godly life inspired and driven by Jesus. I embraced the Christian culture, including the T-shirts, the Bible covers, the Christian-ese language, and the cheesy movies. I put a fish emblem on my car. I stood by the NIV translation for a long time. I put The Fish on all the presets of my car radio. I also embraced the “bubble” that has plagued the movement for so long. I, as I said, was hooked.

(Man, what was I thinking!)

The one thing, however, I always found peculiar that seems to be common place within the Christian church culture is the unspoken sense of competition between churches. One of the most difficult things I’ve experienced in pastoral ministry is the ability to work with other churches to reach the city in which we all call home. The idea of “sheep stealing” has become so common place within the church that many have looked past the fact that we’re one collective church on mission to bring the Light of Jesus to our cities. And, instead of worrying about Pastor XYZ “stealing” people from our “flock”, we should be willing to share resources (human and financial) in order to move the Kingdom forward.

But maybe it’s just me.

I’ve had the humbling privilege, as we gear toward beginning a new work in Long Beach, to be connected with an organization that intertwines multiple churches and pastors within the city to work together for the overall vision of the Kingdom. We collectively meet once a month to share stories about our churches and our efforts to love the people we’re neighbors to. We pray for one another. We learn from one another. We embrace one another. And, out of this network, I’ve been able to develop amazing friendships with other pastors that I can additionally pray with, learn from, and grow together with.

The amazing part to all this is I’m experiencing this fascinating camaraderie even before we’ve officially planted our church. I have a strong suspicion that, because of this connectedness we’re experiencing, that we’d be more inclined to share with one another…even if it meant sending one or two of our leaders to a church that desperately needed help.

It’s a beautiful picture of community.

It’s a beautiful picture of the Church.

It’s a beautiful picture of the Kingdom.

Category: Leadership

3 Steps to a Bearable Transition

A Picture of Community