You know those moments when you feel like you’ve been using your talents to its fullest potential and realize that there’s still a vast emptiness inside of you that still plagues the forefront of everything creative?
Well…I think I hit that wall this morning.
This weekend marked yet another awesome journey in my baking experience as I was blessed to have had the opportunity to construct a wooden car cake for my godson Jayce (by way of Ned and Carisa Realiza). I was excited, to say the least, to attempt the challenge of turning a sweet tasty treat into something that looked like a whittled vintage play toy.
I think I stepped up to the challenge, meeting all expectations.
I had a blast.
Yet, as I catalogue all the designs in my head, and think about the next couple of cakes I have lined up for this month, I can’t help but feel like I’m not fully embracing what I’ve come to enjoy doing. And then I think about an opportunity I have this summer to exercise my other gift in writing to recite, teach, and share my life journey in the area of creative writing and Spoken Word. And then I think about my current job as one of the pastors at our church.
And then…I pause.
I pause and try to discern if I’m truly doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I ask questions like, “Am I following God’s purpose for my life?” “Am I short changing areas of my life that need more focus and attention?” “Which areas of my life need more focus and attention?”
I enjoy the trinity of areas that have become my life as of late, not including husband and parent of course, and I do feel content. I do feel happy with all that I put into these areas. And, if I assess where I’m at, I can honestly say I’m where I need to be.
However, there’s this tiny speck in me that seemingly nudges me to think otherwise.
So, I’m stuck with no definitive answer.
I just sit and pause again.
How about you?