You know those moments when you feel like you’ve been using your talents to its fullest potential and realize that there’s still a vast emptiness inside of you that still plagues the forefront of everything creative?
Well…I think I hit that wall this morning.
This weekend marked yet another awesome journey in my baking experience as I was blessed to have had the opportunity to construct a wooden car cake for my godson Jayce (by way of Ned and Carisa Realiza). I was excited, to say the least, to attempt the challenge of turning a sweet tasty treat into something that looked like a whittled vintage play toy.
I think I stepped up to the challenge, meeting all expectations.
I had a blast.
Yet, as I catalogue all the designs in my head, and think about the next couple of cakes I have lined up for this month, I can’t help but feel like I’m not fully embracing what I’ve come to enjoy doing. And then I think about an opportunity I have this summer to exercise my other gift in writing to recite, teach, and share my life journey in the area of creative writing and Spoken Word. And then I think about my current job as one of the pastors at our church.
And then…I pause.
I pause and try to discern if I’m truly doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I ask questions like, “Am I following God’s purpose for my life?” “Am I short changing areas of my life that need more focus and attention?” “Which areas of my life need more focus and attention?”
I enjoy the trinity of areas that have become my life as of late, not including husband and parent of course, and I do feel content. I do feel happy with all that I put into these areas. And, if I assess where I’m at, I can honestly say I’m where I need to be.
However, there’s this tiny speck in me that seemingly nudges me to think otherwise.
So, I’m stuck with no definitive answer.
I just sit and pause again.
How about you?
Let’s talk.
derrickengoy.us 
I’ve been asking myself questions similar to those because I always want to live up to the full potential God has in store for me. I find myself in bittersweet moments that seem satisfying enough that I’m fulfilling the desire I’m called to do, yet in my heart, there’s something needing to be done. On the other hand, it’s good to rationalize with yourself whether or not we are living up to God’s standards and maximizing our gifts to yield positive results. With that being said, if you yield no answer to whether or not you’re listening and following God’s plan, that’s good. Just continue to listen and seek those opportunities to prosper in all areas of life.
Now lately, I’ve had nothing but time to reevaluate my life and wondering where I should be, where God wants me to be, what areas need attention. As I continue to speculate on what needs to be done, my can confidently say that there’s potential in what I’m supposed to be doing, I just need to heart to do it.
I’m glad to say, my heart is waiting at the start line to attend to the areas that need my focus.